Addiction
by Its Got To Be You
Summary: Lil is in a verbally abusive relationship and doesn't know what to do to stop it. She ends up with a habit that she finds hard to quit and turns to a friend for help.
1. That Relationship

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rugrats/All Grown Up.**

**Chapter One: That Relationship**

Lil laid in her bed tears running down her face and her phone up to her ear. She was dating Sean Butler, and he wasn't the nicest boyfriend. He didn't physically hurt her, but emotionally. He would verbally abuse her. She didn't know what she did to him to set him off sometimes, but she figured whatever it was she deserved it.

"Sean please stop yelling" she begged him.

Their latest fight was caused by Lil going out with Phil and hanging out with her friends, Tommy and Chuckie included. Sean would have preferred her to stay at home and spend time with him, but she wanted to spend time with her brother instead. Sean was always getting jealous of Phil and it confused Lil as to why.

"You were with guys, Lillian! You know how I feel about you hanging out with guys!"

Another thing Lil didn't understand is why he was so mad about her hanging out with guys. She would understand if it had been an ex, but she didn't date Tommy or Chuckie. She sighed and wiped away the tears "Their my _friends_, Sean. What don't you understand about that?"

"I don't think _you're _the one understanding, Lil. I don't want you hanging out with them."

Lil sat up, momentarily forgetting that she was on the phone with him "You can't control my life, Sean. I understand where you're coming from, but there's no way I can stop hanging out with them. I've known them my whole life. Since I was in diapers! You can't make me choose between you and them, that's not right."

"Then understand this, Lil. We're over."

Lil was staring at her wall with her hand over her mouth trying to cover the sound of her sobs. All this over her hanging out with some guys? "I have to go" she managed to choke the words out.

Sean sighed "No, don't go."

"I have to. I have to finish my homework." she was lying to him. All she wanted to do now was lay in her bed and sleep. She wanted to forget about what just happened.

"No, I'm sorry... I don't want to break up."

Lil smiled "Really?"

"Yes. Will you please be my girlfriend again?"

Lil took a deep breath before saying anything "Of course"

Phil walked into Lil's room later that night and saw her sitting at her computer. He had heard her crying earlier and he knew the cause was Sean. Ever since he moved away he had been treating Lil like she was dirt. Phil hated seeing his sister so hurt, but there was really nothing he could do about it. "You okay?"

Lil turned to him and gave him a smile "Yeah, I'm fine now. Sean was just being... Well, Sean."

"What did he do now?"

Phil and Lil had never grown apart. She told him everything. There wasn't anything Phil didn't know about her. He even knew every problem Sean and Lil were having. "He didn't like me hanging out with Tommy and Chuckie, I told him I wasn't going to stop hanging out with them, and he got mad, broke up with me and asked me back out. We're fine now."

Phil thought it over, he knew his sister deserved better but he also knew she wasn't going to listen to him "Sean's an idiot, Lil."

She laughed and looked back at her computer "I know. But things are fine now, I promise."

Phil gave her a smile before walking out of her room and made his way back over to his. Lil stood up from her computer and started pacing around her room. Right now, Sean was out with his friends. Usually Lil didn't care but something inside her was telling her to worry. He hasn't tried talking to her since he went left, and it was really starting to freak her out. She laid in her bed hoping that sleep would help her calm down.

She woke up in the morning and checked her phone to have missed calls, voice mails and texts all from Sean. She read through the text and realized that every single one of them were a drunk text from him. One of them said something about being with a girl named Lexi, and Lil almost instantly felt jealous.

She called Sean back, not even listening to the voice mails. When Sean didn't answer Lil started to freak out. She got out of bed and walked over to Phil's room. She slowly opened his door and walked over to his bed, shaking his shoulder to wake him up. He groaned and looked over at Lil "What do you want?"

"I think Sean's cheating on me"

Phil sat up and pulled Lil onto his bed. He would usually be mad at her for waking him up, but he could tell how upset and scared she was. "What makes you think he's cheating?"

"He's with some girl named Lexi and he's drunk and I have all these text and voice mails. I called him back but he didn't answer" Lil was about to start crying, and Phil was quick to calm her down.

"He could be asleep, Lillian. And you know for a fact, that if he is cheating, I will go and hunt him down. And this Lexi girl, her name screams slut. Sean was never one to go for a slut."

Lil laughed and shrugged "I guess. But it still freaks me out."

Phil nodded in understanding. Sean had cheated on her before and she forgave him. That's why this freaked her out so bad. Phil knew she was trying to be the best girlfriend she could be, but Sean didn't seem to appreciate that; and it showed with the way he treated her.

"Can I go back to sleep?" he asked with pleading eyes.

Lil nodded and got off his bed heading towards his door. She loved that she could talk tot Phil and he'd always have something to say. She knew how Phil really felt about Sean and she loved that he never tried to get her to leave him. She felt lucky to have such a close relationship with him. She said goodnight and closed his door making her way back into her room.

She looked at the time and felt silly for overreacting about Sean not answering. It was three in the morning, most people were asleep by now. Lil got back into her bed and tried falling back asleep but she had too many bad thoughts running through her head. She decided to just stay awake and lay in bed. If she was lucky, sleep would come back.


	2. The First Cut

**Chapter Two: The First Cut**

Lil walked up to Kimi's locker the next morning. Besides Phil, Lil told Kimi everything between her and Sean. She was pretty sure Phil had told her about what happened last night. "Did Phil tell you?"

Kimi turned away from her locker to look at her best friend "Yes. And I really hate to be the one to tell you this, but I know Phil won't; you deserve better than Sean."

Lil sighed. She knew someone was going to tell her sooner or later, but she thought it would be Phil. "I don't really want to talk about it, okay?" Lil started walking towards her class, leaving Kimi standing there.

Phil walked over to Kimi and noticed the confused look on her face "What just happened?"

"Well, I told Lil that she deserved better and she just walked off."

Phil looked down the hall and watched Lil walking towards her class "Usually she'd want to talk about it" Phil walked away from Kimi, and started after Lil. He figured whatever happened last night with Sean, hadn't been resolved and she was still upset about it.

Phil caught up to Lil and grabbed her arm turning her around "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Kimi told me you walked away from her after she brought up Sean. You'd usually talk about it." Lil crossed her arms and started walking again. Phil followed her "Come on, Lillian. What happened?"

"Nothing happened, Phillip. I just don't want to talk about it" Lil walked into the bathroom wanting to get away from him and any talk of Sean.

Lil walked over to the mirror and looked at herself. Phil was right, something did happen. Sean called Lil that morning and they did talk about the previous night and about that girl Lexi, but it didn't go the way she wanted it to. Lil could feel the tears starting to form as she thought about the conversation they had.

_****  
__"So... Whose that Lexi girl?" Lil asked Sean sitting up in her bed. _

_Lil could tell that Sean had started smiling before he started talking "She's just this girl I met." _

_Lil got out of bed and walked over to her dresser. It was too early for her and she'd rather not be on the phone and getting ready but she needed to talk to Sean about this "Wait.. So it's okay for you to hang out with other girls but I can't hang out with guys?" _

"_It's__ not like you even listen to me when I tell you not to."_

_"Of course I'm not going to listen to you. Tommy and Chuckie are just my friends, I've known them my whole life and as I've said before I'm not going to stop hanging out with them or talking to them just because you want me to." the last thing she wanted to do early in the morning was get in a fight with Sean. _

_"You're so stubborn, Lil."_

_She rolled her eyes and opened her closet to see what she should wear to school. "You tell me this often." _

_"Because it's true. Why don't you just find someone who you'll actually listen to?"_

_"You're kidding me, right? You're **really **mad over this?" Lil sat at her computer desk. She hated when Sean got this way, it always turned out bad for her. _

_"Yes, Lillian I am." _

_Lil rolled her eyes and sighed in frustration "At least I don't get drunk and hang out with them" _

_She could tell what she said had made him mad "At least Lexi would do what I want." _

_Lil stopped what she was doing "What do you mean by that?" _

_"It's nothing Lil, I have to go."_

_****  
_The bathroom door opened and Angelica walked in. She should have graduated last year, but she failed and is now graduating with Chuckie's class. She looked over at Lil "What's wrong with you?"

Lil wiped away the tears that had started to fall "Nothing." she went to walk past her but Angelica grabbed her arm and turned her around.

"You have to remember I dated Sean too, and I'm pretty sure that's what your problem is. We all know that he's a douche. I'm surprised you even lasted this long with him. You're too good for him, DeVille."

"Thank you" Lil gave Angelica a smile before walking out.

It wasn't the first time that Lil had been told that she was too good for him. Phil has told her, Kimi has, even Tommy and Chuckie told her. She didn't want to believe them, but something about hearing it from Angelica made her want to believe it. Probably because Angelica was never one to tell someone that.

She walked into her class and sat down in her desk. She was thinking over what Angelica had said. She pulled her phone out and had a text from Sean. _"You should be more like Lexi. She doesn't complain about every little thing"._ She frowned at what it and closed her phone putting it away. Phil walked in and saw that she looked unhappy "What's wrong, Lillian?"

"What else would be wrong?" she didn't look away from her desk.

Phil rolled his eyes. He felt like it was too early for Sean to be doing things to make her upset. Lil crossed her arms as she stared at the front of the class, not wanting to be there. She'd rather be at home, in her bed, asleep. She was annoyed with Sean and the way he would treat her.

She was even quiet during lunch. Kimi tried talking to her and make her feel better but nothing was working. Lil had been ignoring all of Sean's text. Most of them were just him putting her down, and she didn't feel like dealing with it today.

The last bell rang and as soon as Lil got home she walked into her room and fell onto the bed. Her phone started vibrating again and she looked to see that it was from Sean, like all the other text she's gotten.

Lil had a feeling that Sean was starting to like this Lexi girl. All his text have been about her, and comparing Lil to her. She knew he was doing it to hurt her. She decided to read through all the text to get rid of the notification

_"I like girls who have a flat stomach. You're getting fat."  
"You're being a real bitch by ignoring me."  
"Lexi's better than you."  
_

The last one is what got to Lil the most. She felt the tears running down her face and she got out of her bed and walked into the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror. Tear stained and makeup smeared. She put her hands on the side of the counter for support. She looked down and that's when she noticed the razor that was sitting there. She picked it up and thought about everything that Sean has said to her that ever upset her. She put the razor to her arm and put the first of many cuts.


	3. Getting Help

**Chapter Three: Getting Help**

Lil felt that cutting herself made her feel better. It relieved her of everything she was feeling. Every time her and Sean would get into a fight she'd go to the bathroom, pick up her razor, and add more cuts to her arm. She was lucky that no one asked her why she was always in long-sleeved shirts.

She was doing her best to keep this a secret from everyone. It would get hard when someone would grab her arm, and she'd have to stop herself from telling them they were hurting her. She knew that cutting was bad, but she didn't think she'd end up continuing it.

She walked out of her room one morning for school. She was doing good in school. She had been chosen as the Valedictorian for Graduation, she was nominated for Prom Queen, and she had gotten into a good college. She didn't want someone finding out she was cutting and then sending her to get help.

She met Phil in the kitchen.

"You seem cheerful." he said taking a bite of his breakfast.

Lil turned and smiled at him "I feel cheerful. Things just feel so good"

Phil laughed and stood up putting his empty bowl in the sink and turning to look at her "That's good. You deserve to finally be happy. Are you going to Prom? That's just around the corner."

Lil sighed and shook her head "I can't. Sean isn't able to come so I wouldn't have anyone."

"Kimi, Tommy, and me?"

Lil shrugged "I don't know, Phillip."

Phil looked at the time and grabbed his keys off the counter "Let's go."

They walked through the doors of the school and met with Kimi at her locker "Lil said she might not go to Prom."

Kimi slammed her locker shut and turned to look at Lil. "Senior Prom, Lil! You have to go!"

Lil shrugged. She didn't feel like talking about this anymore. She looked over as Tommy walked up to them "Morning, T"

"Good morning, Lil!" Tommy smiled at her. She lifted her arm up to brush her hair out of her face and that was when Tommy noticed the cuts on her arm. "Can I talk to you?" he asked her and she nodded.

The two walked away from Phil and Kimi and Tommy looked at her with concern. He reached out and took her hand and flipped it so he could see the underside of her arm and the cuts "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

Lil yanked her arm away and pulled it to her chest "It's not from what you think it is."

Tommy raised his eyebrows at her "Then what is it from?"

Lil tried to think of something to say. She couldn't think of anything that would explain the cuts. She knew that it was obvious what they were from. She sighed and put her arm down "Okay, it is what you think. I did it once after something went down with Sean and it made me feel.. I don't know, relieved from all the stress he was giving me. And it just started happening after every fight with him"

"You shouldn't be doing that. It's not healthy, you could get addicted to it. I don't want anything to happen to you, and I'm sure Phil doesn't want anything to happen to you either."

Lil shook her head "It's not going to get that bad, Tommy. Don't worry about me." she walked away from him towards their class.

Phil watched her walk away and then turned to Tommy "What was that about?"

Tommy shook his head and walked past them "Nothing."

Lil sat in her seat. She wasn't good at hiding the cuts if Tommy was able to see them. She started thinking that maybe Phil has seen them too but hasn't said anything to her. She put her arms under her desk as Phil, Kimi and Tommy walked in. She wouldn't even look at Tommy now. She tried focusing on the board instead of the fact that Tommy knew and he would most likely tell Phil.

By the end of the day, Lil had successfully avoided Tommy and his questions. She got in the car and Phil turned to look at her "Whats been up with you today?"

Lil looked over at him and shook her head "Nothing. Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"You've been acting weirder than usual today." Phil started the ignition and started driving towards their house.

Lil knew she was acting weird, and she knew Phil was going to question it. She couldn't tell him what was really wrong with her. She may have been able to tell him everything before, but now she can't. Sean got mad at her for telling Phil everything.

When Phil pulled into the driveway she practically jumped out of the car, not wanting to be around anyone much longer. She went straight up to her room, grabbing her phone off her dresser which she had accidentally left at home. She read through all the text from Sean and then texted him back apologizing for not answering and explaining why.

She went over to her computer and turned it on to start her homework. She was in the middle of writing her essay when her phone went off. She picked it up and read it _"There's something I need to tell you" _Lil always knew when Sean had something to tell her, it was bad. She started thinking of anything that could be wrong but instead of getting a text he called her. Lil took a deep breath and answered "What do you have to tell me, Sean?"

_"I've been... I've been dating Lexi since December" _

Lil could feel the tears starting to form "December what...?" _  
_

_"Fifteenth" _

"Are you kidding me? That's when we got together, Sean." Lil said standing up to move to her bed.

_"Yeah, but I thought we weren't together... We were fighting so much."_

"So? That doesn't mean we weren't together, I still considered us together."

_"I just figured we weren't together because we fought so much" _

Lil could tell just by his voice that he didn't really care "I have to go." she didn't wait for him to say anything else.

Lil laid back onto her bed and covered her face with her hands. How could she have been so oblivious to the fact that he was cheating? He was showing all the signs of it. She shook her head and stood up and walked over to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and wiped away the tears and fixed her makeup so she looked somewhat decent. She looked down at the counter and was about to reach for the razor blade but stopped herself. She went back to her room and picked her phone up calling the one person she knew would help her "Tommy? I need your help."


End file.
